The Art of Saying NO at Work Without Feeling Guilty.

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Mar 28, 2025

Ed Note

“You deserve to be here. You deserve to exist. You deserve to take up space in this world of men." — MacKenzi Lee.

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So Shall We?

One of the trickiest things to do at work is saying “NO.”

As women working in a male-dominated space, we are expected to be collaborative, accommodating and team players. And if we are being honest, this sometimes means taking on way more than we should.

At first, it may seem like it is not a big deal. It starts with a simple YES to running small errands, taking on one small task, doing a little favour here and there and before you know it, you are already saying YES to everything and everybody. This can cost you a lot, it can make you feel too overwhelmed to even do your job, it can lead to burnout, and you resenting that person or the company. This is why saying NO is something you must learn.

Don't get me wrong, saying NO is scary. It takes guts, it can make you feel uncomfortable. You might become worried that it will burn bridges, make you seem unhelpful, or even cost you opportunities. But if you want to protect your time, set boundaries and focus on what is important, you have to learn how to say NO.

So how can you say NO without feeling guilty about it?

The first thing you need to do is to ask yourself if saying YES is worth it. Before you agree to do something, take your time to ask yourself; Is this in line with my role? Will it help me grow, will I be able to learn from it? Do I have the time to do it well without sacrificing anything? If the answer to these questions is NO, then it is time to set boundaries.

Below are a few real-life scenarios where saying NO is necessary and here is how you can say it.

1. When you are asked to hand out water bottles or snacks in a meeting because you are a woman. Instead of saying YES, or just standing up to do it, you can say

“I think we should rotate this task, who handled it the last time?” (Now, this is a way of saying I have been the one doing it, let’s make this fair).

You can also say

“I’ve noticed I get asked to do this a lot. Maybe we can share the responsibility?”

2. When you are assigned to a big project within a short time frame, and you know you can’t meet up.

“Given my current workload, I will need more time to do this properly and deliver quality work. Should I do this before my other tasks, or can we extend the deadline?”

3. When a coworker or teammate keeps asking for your help on their work when it is clearly not your job.

“I would love to help but I am currently busy. If you are stuck, maybe you should ask the manager to clarify?”

4. When your team wants you to lead an extra project (Because you are ‘So good at it’) when you are already working on one.

“Thank you for trusting me but right now, my plate is full, and I want to give my all to my current project. If I have free time, I am definitely going to let you know”

4. When your boss sends you a message to work on something after work hours and you feel the need to say YES to please them, don’t. Instead, you can say

“I am currently not available, but I will take a look at it first thing in the morning.”

Now this is how you say NO, without burning bridges or feeling guilty about it.

Every time you say NO to unpaid emotional labour, and demands, you are saying YES to a healthier work-life balance, mental health and wellbeing.

This has nothing to do with you refusing to help, it has everything to do with making intentional choices about where your energy goes.

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